Married Men Just Want To Be Left Alone?(Careful You May Get Your Wish)

I find myself observing people. I like to watch and listen to people interact. I find it interesting, often amusing and a good way to pass time as I am often required to hurry up and wait in my daily life.

For example I walk by an inner city bus stop everyday on my way to my job and I overhear in that brief moment some things that make me laugh or shake my head all day. Sometimes just watching and listening isn’t good enough and I just have to comment,prompt, or even provoke additional conversation just to amuse myself.

Well, so what ,good for you. How does this effect me, and what does it have to do with being left alone?

So glad you asked. In interacting with and listening to other men, mostly married men Read more

I Want To Go Back(YOU CAN’T GO BACK) So Then What?

Can you go back? Would you go back? If you could ? Would you go back and do it all over?

School, Fraternity, Wife, Job, Career, Kids, House, Town, State, Pool, Dogs,

Spending Money, Saving Money, Traveling, Guitar, Dance, Comedy, Acting, Sports…..Well you get the idea.

If you could would you really go back and change things really go back and change significant substantial life changing life shaping decisions that you made as the person you were at the time and now get to(have to) live with the results?

Let me take this opportunity to give a shout out to Eddie Money (what do you mean who is Eddie Money?)

He sang the hit song I Wanna Go Back “and do it all over but I can’t go back I know”.

great Sax hook good tune.

Anyways Eddie apparently is re-releasing some hits and I Wanna Go Back is the title as well as a new Pinoit Wine release for charity(but I digress, that means I got sidetracked, fancy huh?)

So where was I? Oh yea Doing it all over.

Of course its not possible though people certainly give up what they have and chuck it.

They try to start over. They have what sometimes is called a mid-life crisis.

You know get divorced even get the new young wife sometimes even start a second family. Sometimes they pack up everything and move change jobs, careers, towns, states, cars, countries, get a boat and sail away….

You get the drift (boat drift get it? sorry). Well, The Chairman of the Board the one the only Francis Albert Sinatra also spoke or rather sang to this issue.

Anybody Come On Buehler Buehler?

No! How about My Way ever hear of it? Alright that’s the choice isn’t it? Living a life full of regret and yearning for the path not chosen verse owning your decisions owning your life the life that you lived the choices you made the results of those decisions heck the person that you are today.

You probably can tell my bias gotta love Sinatra’s My Way.
(Talk about owning your life and decisions).

You also have to agree with the Money Man You Can’t Go Back even if you want to.

So where does that leave us well how about living the life that you created? How about loving the wife that you married?
Raising the little ones that you helped create and are raising?

How about doing everything that you can to not only hang in there and live the life that has resulted from your choices?

Then why don’t you write a better middle and ending to your life

rather than looking to chuck it all? Why not make the next part of your life of your marriage a great love story?

That’s right re-kindle your love with your wife bring back the love bring back the spark

bring back the laughter, the love, the joy, the sex, the romance, the fun.

Write the happy ending to you and your wife’s love story. You can do it. She can do it.

You both deserve it Your family deserves it.

How? Make the next decision the next life shaping decision an investment in your own happiness your marriage your life.

Make it Your Way. How? Join Our Date Night.

You Won’t regret it.

Husband of Gina Gray

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Love Stinks(Or is that the Baby?)

One things for sure Love Stinks yea yea. That’s right Love stinks.

Anybody remember that old J Geils tune? It was also used in The Wedding Singer that Adam Sandler movie with Drew Barrymore(He sings an amusing version).

Anyways I have explored(yea right like I am some kind of Lewis and Clarke or Columbus).

Alright wise ass than I previously wrote about the pitfalls of Love(I also happened to write about my wife saying I stink in the bathroom).

Regardless or should I say irregardless(either way) anyone who has been in love or more particularly married has most likely had periods of doubt or periods of disillusionment about being in a monogamous committed relationship with all that entails.

Now I will also point out that there is nothing better in life than to truly be in love, to have someone you can really count on, someone who always has your back (your front too).

To have that companion to share all life has to offer good bad and mundane.

Now add to that equation God’s gift yes that’s right children.

Take a perfectly fine semi-healthy happy relationship add a little one and see what happens.(yea I know sit-com’s love this premise).

In the real world however the introduction of a baby(Hello baby) changes the dynamic of the couple.

More kids more hijinks ensues. So what happens to the couple? Does the relationship take a back seat (permanently) to the spoiled brats(I mean the children)?

If so what can be done to save your relationship. Yes that sexual playful loving laughing relationship that was the relationship pre-children?
Or does it have to die and be reborn as something else, something less?

I am sure that we all(that’s you me and the rest of us) desire want and even need to make adjustments as things can never be the same(Can’t go back remember?).

These adjustments require effort from both members of the couple and perhaps some help from Gina Gray at Our Date Night.

She can give you direction, ideas support and even friendship from like situated couples who have gone through the tough times, the kids, the babies, and the teens, as well as the other issues that make staying together and maximizing your relationship so trying.

Well, maybe it was the baby after all whew that does stink.
You change him Honey, Honey aww come on …

Gotta Go,  Love stinks Yea Yea
Husband of Gina Gray

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3.5 (1 person)

Can’t Spell Idiot With Out I Do in Marriage

What the hell is that supposed to mean you can’t spell idiot without I do?

Are you saying that you must be an idiot if you say I do?

Is that what you are saying? Really? Wow what a bummer.

Why the negativity you ask (that is what you asked right?) Well I am sure(how can you really be sure?) that by now you have seen the most recent stats which basically put the failure rate of people who get married at about 50%.

That’s right the statistics say that if you get married today(don’t do it or aaah congratulations) that the chances that you get divorced are approximately 50%(that’s 1 in 2 couples will be divorced within 15 years).

I would send you to the specific sites but that’s not why I am here(why are you here).

Well I live here that’s why.

Oh whats my point. Is there a point? Or am I just trying to spook prospective newlyweds and further depress any married couples who are fighting to keep it together.

Neither but both were great guesses and thanks for playing along. The point is that with odds like this 1 in 2 will fail how does the institution of marriage continue to survive.

Why are people getting married?

Do you have to be an idiot to get married in the face(is there a face) of these depressing stats.

Can you imagine 50%?

If the Bungee jump ride had such a success/failure rate think anyone would try it?

Even Russian roulette has much better odds.

Ok Ok I know both these comparisons involved risk of death and divorce may suck for all involved but nobody has to die(right)?

How about the casinos the slot machines usually are set to pay something like 85-95% back (of course that is just the average including the rare jackpot).

Would you buy a house if the odds were 50% that you would lose it?

Nonetheless people are getting married in large numbers and many times on more than one occasion(the numbers are worse for 2nd marriages).

Heck even Gay people are clamoring to get married(suckers) what do you think the divorce rates will be for gay marriages higher lower same?(take a guess) Idiots or not gay or straight, people continue to forge head first into marriage all full of love and hope but to give your marriage the best opportunity to not only survive these odds but thrive despite them make sure you invest in that relationship and Our Date Night can help.

As For me I’m no idiot, I said I will take her as my wife.

Husband of Gina Gray

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3.2

Are you in a Sexless Sex Starved Marriage?

I have found that marriages where the wives do not take date night and sex seriously

have less passion and fun. The couple starts to act like roommates, not lovers,

and this can go on for months.

And this is BAD for your marriage! Did I really have to tell you that?

Listen if you have kids and find it darn near impossible to get out, you may find

friends, family or a service such as www.Sittercity.com to help you out, once in a while.

Or trade babysitting with another couple that has children. If you

don’t have kids and you are not dedicating yourselves to at least a few hours for yourselves

for a night out, or at home you are doing your relationship harm.

Take a night or afternoon and rid yourself of the kids, the phone, bills or the

washing machine going.

Forget the, “the kids need me” routine.” They can live with out for a few hours.

You know who really needs you, the father of your children. What is really important

to your children is that, you maintain a relationship with their father. If money is a bit

of an issue it’s money well spent if it makes you and your husband feel alive, like your dating

again.

It doesn’t matter who does the planning as long as someone does it.

If your going out, ladies pull out the heels, the earings he bought you, a nice dress

and oh yeah use the razor and make-up. He’ll love it… Make more of an effort than you

usually do. Make the night special for you and him.

Now, if you got the kids out of the house or you do not have children and you

want to just stay in that’s fine too. Here are some indoor ideas;

*Order in but use your silver wear and plates. Turn on the music, off goes

the TV while your eating.

*Eat in Lingerie or have him wear his sexiest boxer -the ones with the hearts-

Oh stop he has them. HAHA.

*Take out your dinner candles. Start lighting the fire now.

* When your done slide in that sexy movie you rented.

*Give him a backrub or give each other one.

*No serious conversation keep it light and fun.

* Have fun enjoy just each other and keep it fun.

No discussions of work, kids or bills. Smile a lot, like when you were dating.

Do what ever you need to do to keep that date night alive and on a regular basis. Do

not have a sexless or sex starved marriage. It is not to late to rekindle those flames

between you and him.

Gina Gray

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3.5 (1 person)

Internet Porn and Carpal Tunnel Sydrome(A Medical Link Or Coincidence?)

A generation ago did anyone ever hear of Carpal Tunnel? Were there scores of people walking around with those ubiquitous braces on their hands? I don’t think so though I was young.

Now, I do know for a fact that there was no internet back then despite what Al Gore may have claimed(when did he say he invented the internet anyway?) Read more

CANCELLED SHMANCELLED THE ANNIVERSARY GOES ON AS SCHEDULED (part 2)

That’s right despite my wife’s declaration of cancellation the Anniversary(both the date and the celebration) went on as planned.

I had some great Anniversary ideas, such as Babysitter, Hotel Room at a fine Casino/Hotel,

Flowers, Dinner at a nice restaurant,

A Massage/facial at the Hotel Spa. Same time next year assuming of course that there is

no declaration of cancellation.

Well, Why the update because I am a gentleman thats why.

I can’t leave those of you who may have read the Can It Really Be Cancelled? hanging.

So maybe more importantly you may be asking yourself How did the Anniversary become un-cancelled?

Well good question.

You may recall that I had as a pre-caution left the plans in place, brought the flowers home

and luckily enough was able to insure that our anniversary yes thats right our anniversary would in fact be celebrated as originally scheduled.

So to those of you out there that have run into this same or similar issues there is hope that plans or dates or celebrations that have been unilaterally cancelled by your loving spouse can in fact be restored. Rest assured that your membership in Our Date Night will prevent declarations of cancellation as well as ensure resuscitation of events pre-maturely cancelled.

and oh yea the sex and the romance that is enjoyed by our members will enable you and yours to celebrate many happy anniversaries.

Best Regards

Husband of Gina Gray

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2.5

CAN IT REALLY BE CANCELLED?

Once they are married a couple only has 1 anniversary the actual wedding day. That’s it that is their anniversary. Why did I feel compelled to share this you may ask. Well it is my anniversary today. I mean it is our anniversary.

Jeez, you would think after all these years I would reflexively(without thinking) automatically say it correctly our anniversary. Thats better.

Now where was I? Oh yeah I was explaining the reason for pointing out that a married couple’s anniversary is the day they got married.

Most couples have anniversaries along the way to getting married days which are assigned some certain significance. You know first date or when you first told each other you loved each other or when you moved in with each other or perhaps when you both got out of prison(just kidding) etc…

Now in my case I mean our case my wife then my girlfriend had from my perspective randomly picked out a day which she then decreed was our “anniversary”. When I would question how this particular date became an anniversary that I was unaware of I was told that it was the date when she decided that she would have me(apparently for good).

Yep thats right Apparently I never had a chance it was already decided by her that we would end up together. So anyway prior to being married we celebrated this random (at least to me) day as an anniversary of sorts. I would rebel and tell her I was refusing to acknowledge this date as being significant right up and through our “anniversary” meal at a nice restaurant.

So back to my title and my current anniversary, my real anniversary. Now after we got married my wife was still trying to cling to this fake anniversary and I was putting my foot down. We now had an anniversary and no longer needed this old one of her minds creation. We really had an anniversary and I would celebrate that date alone.(not by myself mind you).

Or maybe not so fast. My wife recently was mad about some other issue with me(probably having something to do with the NFL schedule coming out and my team which I have season tix being scheduled on Thanksgiving night) and in her anger she told me that she was cancelling our anniversary.

Yea thats right she has that power our anniversary has been cancelled. I pointlessly tried to tell her that you can’t cancel the date it will come regardless of her proclamation and it would still be the anniversary of the day we were married.

So here I sit wondering Is it possible to cancel an anniversary? If so is it like a leap anniversary? Do you not get to count the year? Any thoughts?

Well Despite her proclamation I have prepared as if we are still going to celebrate our milestone tonight(you didn’t think I was stupid did you?)

I bought a couple of cards(at the dollar store told her thats where I got them too). Whats the difference its cancelled anyway right?

I have cleared my afternoon and am expecting that we may still celebrate the 1st cancelled anniversary of our married life(better safe than sorry). Or maybe we’ll just go back to that old anniversary Nah can’t do it after all I have the date of our wedding engraved into the inside of my ring just so I don’t forget.

If you want to ensure you and your spouse continue to celebrate many happy anniversaries run don’t walk to our good friends at OUR DATE NIGHT you won’t regret it. I sure don’t .

Husband Of Gina

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2.8 (1 person)

Is Silence Golden? The “Silent Treatment”

Everyone has heard the old saying Silence is Golden, I’m sure.

So what relevance does it have regarding relationships? Well the silence I am referring to is that silence that occurs after a fight, argument or disagreement when one party (the woman in my experience) gives the other the silent treatment refusing to speak to them in fact trying to overtly (very much intentionally and on purpose) ignore that person.

Have you been the victim (or beneficiary) of this silent treatment?

What did you do to make your spouse or significant other refuse to acknowledge you?

Now my experience has been that the funny part of this whole phenomenon is that it rarely causes the desired effect (whatever that may be) from the male. On the contrary the shunned partner now finds himself free to watch his shows/movies/sports events sit in his lounge chair or couch eating sandwiches and generally enjoying himself.

Also he may find himself going out with his buddies or relatives golfing/shooting pool /attending a NASCAR Race/sporting event or concert/ fishing/ bowling working out or whatever is his pleasure.

Now the ignorer starts to realize that not only is her spouse not sitting idly-by contemplating the error of his ways and how he can possibly make it up to her (he usually does not know exactly what he supposedly did wrong in the first place) In fact she (again from my experience and perspective it is the woman freezing the man out in this scenario) starts getting angrier and angrier as she starts to realize that you are not miserable as a result of her “Silent treatment” in fact you appear to be yep here it comes happy.

You are not only not sad disappointed sorry and yearning for her forgiveness and the sweet sounds of her voice speaking to you in soft forgiving tones but you (she now believes like it better when she is not talking to you, DON’T YOU?)

Ok Ok now you really did it you made the grave mistake (is there any other kind (i can read it back to you) [A gratuitous A Few Good Men reference. Anybody?]

Where was I? Oh yea grave mistake thats right now you really did it she thinks you don’t love her and you don’t need her.

So now shes talkin alright and you aren’t really enjoying it much as you now have to assure her that you do in fact love her and need her and that although you appeared happy it was really tearing you up on the inside and you are sorry for whatever she says you did that made her not speak to you in the first place.

Afterwards all is well or at least same as usual and life goes on til the next time you are a victim of the “Silent Treatment“

Now back to my original question Is Silence Golden?

Well I will tell you this yes it is golden you should learn to enjoy the periods of time when you are a victim of the silent treatment but make sure that you don’t look like you are enjoying it too much. Obviously prolonged repeated stretches of no communication between you and yours is a dangerous situation which has to be addressed after all a separate life is not a life together.

To ensure that your relationship flourishes visit OUR DATE NIGHT and you will also find other pleasurable aspects of your relationship that truly are golden (thats right sex)

Good Luck

written by husband of Gina Gray

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2.5

Love Hate Chris Rock and She Said He’s Just a Friend

Anybody catch the most recent movie from perhaps the Best Stand-Up Comedian around these days Chris Rock?

It recently hit cable is now on constantly and is called I Think I Love My Wife. Chris Rock is certainly one of the funniest stand-ups going but has yet to have a breakout comedy movie hit and this flick continues that streak.

This movie hits some of the themes that he turned into side splitting comedy routines namely guys relationships with their wives. Now, Rock has several noteworthy takes on Marriage, Love, Hate.

You may recall Rock’s routine where he says a man is only as faithful as his options. This movie appears to be a takeoff of that routine as Rock’s character a long time married man suddenly finds himself attracted to a sexy younger version who is paying him some attention.

The movie than looks at the inner turmoil of Rock’s character as he explores his new options (the young hot slightly dangerous and crazy chick).

I didn’t find there to be too many really funny parts in the movie with the exception of a scene that is played out to the tune of Biz Markie’s hit Just a Friend. You remember Oh Baby You You got what I need You said he’s just a friend said he’s just a friend Oh Baby you.

You get the picture.

Anyways I think one of Chris Rocks funnier routines which wasn’t really successfully explored in the movie is when he says you can’t really hate somebody I mean really hate’em less you been married to them (in fact he says you never been in love lest you thought of killing that person). When you know all about them then you can really hate them good.

All those things that were cute at the beginning become not only not cute but annoy the living shit out of you. That when you fall in love with somebody, live with them everyday wake up with them, sleep with them, listen to the same stories, the cracking of their knuckles,  the leaving the seat up, or their penchant for charging up the credit cards, nagging you to do things right when you just sit/lay down complaining or bitching.

It is when your loved ones idiosyncrasies become not little quirks that you love about the person (or at least can tolerate) but rather things that make you hate them.

Thats right, Rock even claims you ain’t really been in love lest you think of killin’em sometimes.  Do you ever find yourself hating on your spouse? Is there things that they do that just drive you crazy? Do you know what they think that you do that drives them crazy Do you do it anyway?

Can you help it?

Well love is a strong emotion and thats why hate can surface in these types of relationships. Don’t let hate overtake your relationship join us at OURDATENIGHT.COM to accentuate the love in your relationship and eliminate the hate.

Remember she said he’s just a friend Oh Baby YOU YOU GOT WHAT I NEED

Written by Gina Gray’s husband

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